


love never wanted me (but i took it anyway)

by weasleyspotter



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 5 Times, F/M, Long-Distance Relationship, Ward is not Hydra AU, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 21:45:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3184244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weasleyspotter/pseuds/weasleyspotter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times phone calls between Jemma and Grant after Jemma joined the Bus. </p>
<p>(or how Jemma and Grant survive long distance.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	love never wanted me (but i took it anyway)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anna_kat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anna_kat/gifts).



> Anna, it was your birthday a few days ago, and I promised you a birthday fic. I cannot say that this fic comes even close to how lovely you are. (Ugh, I wish this fic was so much better, because you deserve better, I'm sorry.) But this is my meager Birthday offering, because you're amazing and you write great fic, and on your birthday someone should write you fic. 
> 
> You asked for something about long distance relationships, and a five time fic is the only thing that came to my mind. The summary is kind of trash, but this fic is for and I hope you enjoy. Also the pov changes after the first section and it just kind of ends abruptly. However I hope you enjoy. (I can't believe I just trashed my own fic and then asked you to enjoy, sorry.)
> 
> Quick points: Jemma and Grant are married, and Garrett isn't Grant's S.O.

i.

He sees her off. Standing at the end of the plane ramp, staring up at the thing with a distinctly unimpressed look, only soured by the frown on his face. His hands are stuck in his pockets and he’s rocking back on the balls of his feet, a surprising gesture for him.

She places an arm on his forearm and manages a smile.

He doesn’t relax under her touch like he usually would. In fact his muscles tighten further and his frown deepens.

She doesn’t make promises like ‘I’ll be fine’ or ‘Nothing’s going to happen to me’, she also doesn’t promise him to not worry about her. She leans up on tips of her toes, and grasps at his suit coat, pulling him down towards her, and kisses him softly on the cheek.

He pulls away from her, his face surprisingly soft, and squeezes her hand painfully tight before letting go all too soon. “I’ll see you soon,” he promises, backing away from her.

“I’ll call you tonight.” She reminds him.

And she keeps that one promise. On the first night, she sits on the middle of her bed and places her computer on her bed at 10:00 pm Bus time. She’s not sure what time it is for him wherever he is. But he picks up on the first ring, and she smiles widely at the breathless way he says ‘hello’ as if he lunged for his computer.

“You will not believe what happened today,” she leans against the wall of her bunk, settling into to tell her story.

His picture is grainy and a poor substitute for the real thing. But the fact that they can Skype, and that she can see him for even a little bit, means everything.

“Tell me,” he urges her, and she can practically hear the smile in his voice. It’s grainy enough that she can’t quite tell if he’s actually smiling, but there’s a slight twinge to his lips.

(Despite all his frowns and general grouchiness, she knows that somewhere deep down, very deep down, he is actually thrilled that she’s gotten this opportunity, at least because it makes her happy.)

So she tells him her story. About Mike Peterson, about the progress they’re making on the night night pistol, and about Skye.

He listens patiently, though his silence grows tense at some points, especially when she gets to the part where Coulson snaps at her and Fitz, but he lets her finish the story.

“How was your day?” She asks finally.

“Not nearly as exciting as yours,” he says a bit dryly. “Is being on Coulson’s Bus always going to be like this?”

“It’s probably a rare occurrence,” she says, but she can’t temper the grin on her face. They did good today, and it warms her chest that she was directly responsible. “But I enjoyed it.”

ii.

He’s in the middle of heavy gunfire when his phone rings.

Sharon shoots him an incredulous look, as he scrambles through his vest to grapple with the burner phone tucked deep inside his pocket.

“Cover me,” he shouts back at Sharon.

“Are you serious?” She screams back at him, but her gun is raised and she’s already picking off them off.

“It’s Jemma,” he says tensely.

The mission was surveillance, fairly low risk, except until they started shooting at him and Sharon, and so he allowed himself a burner phone that was strictly for Jemma and for emergencies only. His heart is pounding as he tumbles into a nearby barricade and lifts the phone to his ear with an audible click.

“Ward,” Fitz’s steady voice calls over the line.

“What?” He snaps, glancing back to watch Sharon reload and raise her gun again. If Fitz is calling, that meant Jemma wasn’t able to call. His heart rate increases rapidly when the thought occurs to him.

“You seem winded,” Fitz continues in that steady tone that betrayed that something was oh so very wrong. “Is this a bad time?”

A bullet nearly clips his hair at that moment, so as he sinks lower into the ground, he growls out, “A little bit.”

“Well not so good for me either, considering I’m holding a still attached prosthetic eye that could explode at any second.” A hint of panic enters Fitz’s voice.

Jemma is fine, for now. “Is Jemma near you?” He asks. His next instinct is to order Jemma to leave the lab, to get far away from wherever Fitz is. But that wouldn’t work and he would pay for it later. “Otherwise exposed or shielded?” Then it occurs to him. Where the hell is Trip? He’s the one who should be doing this not Fitz.

He pauses for a moment as Fitz fumbles through his response and he can hear Jemma’s clearly panicked voice say, “He’s been made.”

It’s like someone drenches him with an ice bucket.

“Cut it now,” he orders Fitz, “Cut the wires now.”

He hears a clip and then a muffled bang and then silence.

“Jemma?”

There’s a heart-stopping moment and then her voice, “I’m fine,” she says breathlessly. “We got the eye into a container before it exploded.” She pauses, inhaling deeply. “Thank you darling.”

“Ward,” Sharon’s voice calls from his left, irritated. “A little help?”

He’s torn for a moment, wanting to stay on the line, speak to Jemma a bit longer about the fact that she could have nearly died. But Sharon’s holding up her gun, and he knows he’s got to cut the line. “I’ve gotta go. We’ll talk later.”

That night, she’s so excited over the win her team got, that he tables the ‘you nearly died’ conversation to another day.

iii.

Her voice is trembling over the line and that’s how he knows something’s wrong.

(There are other indications, of course. She’s calling at completely unusual time for her. He didn’t pick up the first time, so she called a second time instead of leaving a message.

The fact that Trip called him an hour earlier to tell him his wife is dying.)

He doesn’t want pick up her first call. He can’t ignore the hope that bubbles up in his chest when her name flashes on his screen because she’s not dead yet, but it’s quickly stifled by the fear and so he watches his phone blankly until her name fades away and the ringtone dies. But then it picks up again immediately and the anxiety gnaws at him.

“Hello,” he says tentatively.

“Grant,” she sighs over the line. There’s wind whipping violently around her, and he can barely make out her voice. She’s somewhere, not the Bus, and that terrifies him.

“Jemma,” he sits up a little straighter. “Where are you?”

“Grant,” she sighs again, and this time he can hear the hitch in her voice, the tears that are surely streaming down her face. “I’m so sorry.”

His heart stops and instantly the pieces fall together.

He knows Shield protocol like the back of his hand. If Jemma’s a risk to the Bus, Coulson has to dump her off the Bus. But Coulson is too honorable to do so, he wouldn’t, not if Jemma had the slightest chance, not even if she didn’t.

But Jemma’s different. Jemma’s honorable too. And it’s going to kill.

“Jemma,” his voice breaks, “please, don’t.”

It’s useless, though. He’s on a plane, back to the Sandbox. He’s thousands of miles away from her.

“I just need to hear your voice one more time.”

“Jemma, no!”

But it’s too late. The phone drops with a clunk, all that’s let is the wind whistling in his ears and the muffles sounds of Fitz’s screams.

iv.

He’s in the Hub when the news breaks. Agent Coulson has been taken hostage by the group behind centipede. Trip’s been shot, but the rest of the team is fine.

He knows why she’s calling before he even picks up the phone. And it’s not to tell him what’s happened or that she’s okay.

“We need your help,” she says without preamble.

“Where do you need me?” He responds.

He can’t deny he’s excited to see her. It’s been weeks (months, perhaps) since the Sandbox, and that wasn’t a pleasant encounter by any means. This won’t be either. But the opportunity to be near her, to work beside her for even a bit, no matter what the circumstances is too much for him to pass up.

He has to pull some strings to get on Hand’s team, because no one wants to let him go. But Fury owes him and Coulson is a valuable member of Shield so it takes less bartering than he thinks.

(Hand makes him wear a suit, though, when they meet the rest of the team in a Shield base in Pennsylvania to regroup. A small penance for his pushiness.)

It’s worth it, because when Jemma sees him, she runs down the ramp and tosses herself into his arms.

(It’s not going to be for forever, even for a while. Soon they’ll find Coulson, and Hand will leave the Bus and take him with her. He’ll be put back on Specialist Rotation and they’ll go back to their strange long distance marriage.)

But for the moment, he enjoys the feel of her wrapped tightly in his arms.

v.

Bobbi is with him when Shield falls.

They’re deep undercover in a gun-running ring, when Bobbi’s phone pings with a text from Natasha. They barely have time to make it out of the city, before they cover is blown and his whole identity is uploaded onto to the Internet.

His first thought is Jemma, of course. So while Bobbi switches on the TV for answers, he frantically tries her number over and over, reaching her voicemail every single time.

“Shit,” Bobbi swears under her breath as the headline ‘Shield is Hydra’ flashes across the TV screen. “What the hell do we do?” She asks him.

He instantly knows what Natasha would want him to do. To regroup with her and the rest of Shield and strategize their next move. He knows that what they should do.

But him? He just wants to keep trying Jemma’s phone until she picks up.

“Trip is with her,” Bobbi reminds him, in a soft voice.

He inhales deeply. He trusts Jemma. He trusts Trip. He trusts Coulson. They’re fine, and he’s sure that Jemma will call him when she can.

“We need to get out of here,” he tells her. “Find Natasha, Barton, whoever is left.”

That plan falls through, of course. Jemma calls them when they’re mid route to Barton and her voice is shaking so bad when he affirms that yes, Bobbi and him are alive and they’re fine.

“Where’s Trip?” He asks her, because Bobbi’s hovering over his shoulder and he can feel the question radiating from her.

“He’s,” she pauses unsurely. “He’s escorting Garrett to the Fridge. Garrett was Hydra,” she murmurs quietly.

Bobbi’s hand claps down on his shoulder, and he feels strangely empty. He knows he should feel something because Garrett was his S.O., before Barton, and it should be a shock, a betrayal. But it doesn’t come as a surprise, and strangely it makes sense. Garrett always was an asshole, and for a moment, Grant’s terribly grateful that it was Garrett.

And that he got away from Garrett.

“Agent Hand is with them,” Jemma finishes.

“Okay,” he says slowly. “Where are you?”

“We’re actually following a lead,” she says, inserting a faux note of optimism into her voice. “That’s why I am calling, I wanted to know if you’d like to join the team?”

He glances at Bobbi who raises an eyebrow at him. The choice is easy. He misses his wife. Shield is gone, Protocols are abandoned, and he needs to be with her right now. He nods at her and she nods back. Joining Coulson doesn’t mean that they abandon their plan. Eventually they join up with Natasha and Barton and find out the full story. Hopefully they get Jemma to come with them, but for now, he just needs to be with her, wherever that is.

“We’re in,” he says steadily, “send us the coordinates.”

“See you soon.” She says happily, before the phone clicks off.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed, especially you, Anna! Please comment and kudos if you enjoyed!


End file.
